Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
