so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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