just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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