It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
