hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
