he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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