hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
