i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You smell like stripper and shame
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
