umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
