my soul wont recognize me after tonight
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
