gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
