i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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