I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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