I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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