Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
