just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
