I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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