i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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