okay pat passed out under dana's car
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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