return my video game
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
