i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
