is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
