drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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