i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
