At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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