i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
