I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
