Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
