Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
