Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
