i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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