I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
wow bdsm is so cute
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
