And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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