If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
