her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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