I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
handjob tips. give me some.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
