Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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