So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
