So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
