and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
