Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
if only i could text you this smell
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Those nachos came to me in a dream
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
