you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
