Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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