once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
