I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
