Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
