Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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