....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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