Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
