In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
