So drunk, too bad you don't want this
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
