Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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