Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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