in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My pussy is not your playground.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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